Articles by Sarah K. Burkhalter

XX Winter Games coming up in Italy

So did you know the Winter Olympics are only a few months away? Because I didn't. I've read about the enviro-hell that is Beijing 2008 and the enviro-heaven that is London 2012, but it totally didn't occur to me until now that the luge (my favorite sport to say) will be broadcast to you and me in February. Torino 2006, baby!

Oh good. They appear to be looking out for the environment.

Sorry -- perhaps this doesn't belong on Gristmill, but I don't have a blog of my own, and I feel like the world (environmental and otherwise) needs to be made aware of the mascots of Torino 2006. Watch the video to be inspired amused vaguely uneasy.

"Neve": she is a gentle, kind and elegant snowball; "Gliz": he is a lively, playful ice cube ... They are the symbol of a young generation that is full of life and energy.

Until their cute little heads melt from global warming! Sigh ...

Ford says trips to the WC are slowing production of SUVs

This is kind of a personal question, but throw away your privacy for the good of the company: Exactly how many minutes did you spend in the loo during work yesterday?

CNN reports that the management at Ford Motor Co.'s Michigan Truck plant has released a memo declaring that too many of the factory's workers are spending more than the 48 minutes allotted per shift in the lavatory. Direct quote from the memo:

In today's competitive environment, it is important that Michigan Truck plant immediately address this concern to avoid the risks associated with safety, quality, delivery, cost and morale.

Delightful mental picture: Suit-clad Ford up-and-ups standing on alert at the door of the powder room, thumb poised on the stopwatch.

What? You wonder what this has to do with the environment? Oh yes. According to the article, workers' prolific excretion is slowing production of the Ford Expedition and Lincoln Navigator SUVs. Well, I think I speak for all enviros when I say, "Do not stop urinating, friends! Fight for your right to crap freely and often!"

Since greens get blamed for everything these days, I'll keep an eye on the news for reports of environmentalists concocting intricate plans to widely distribute laxatives to Ford workers.

And yes, it is impressive that I wrote this entire post without using the word "bathroom." Thank you.

In which we ask a mess of smart people what should happen in New Orleans

Unless you’ve been living under a rock — and these days, we can’t say we’d blame you — you’ve probably put at least a smidgen of thought toward the fate […]

One family aiming to be half the population of Arkansas

Speaking of overpopulation ...