1. Hangin’ with my peeps

    Keep the kids close to the nest: the illicit urban chicken movement is taking wing across the nation, hatching plans to egg houses and fowl backyards. Illicit chickens could be anywhere — so watch your bawk, Hoboken.

  2. Her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard

    Cows and Mills were both rejected by Sir Paul, but now Heather has the advantage: Only she can put out the secret ingredient in new Ben & Jerry’s flavor Chocolate Chip Nookie Dough.

    Photo: WireImage/Mike Marsland

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  3. Reading butt-y

    Instances of talking out of your ass are well-documented, but reading out of your ass — now that’s new.

    Photo: David Stovell Design

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  4. Wet ‘n’ wild

    Buying Evian just to take an effing bath? We’re not that naïve. Although for $400 and international superstardom, we might sing a different water-shortage tune.

  5. That just kilt our appetite

    Climate change may be a hard-hearted harbinger of haggis’ end. And then what will Scottish children stuff in their meat-pieholes?

    Photo: BiologyBigBrother