No Onion, but it’ll do

Dave Letterman's Top Ten Dumb Guy Ideas For Lowering Gas Prices:

10. Make all roads downhill.
9. Cheaper self-service price if you pump the oil and refine it yourself.
8. Gas comes from dinosaurs, so all we need are more dinosaurs.
7. Invade Iraq.
6. Give Cheney a sawed-off shotgun and have him stick up an Exxon.
5. Tax cuts for the rich.
4. Get Bush and the Middle East to straighten everything out on Oprah.
3. Jet packs for everyone.
2. Gas only costs 12 cents a gallon in Venezuela; drive to Venezuela for gas.
1. Get tubby genius Al Gore to figure it out.

(via Sierra Club blog)

Dave Letterman’s Top Ten Dumb Guy Ideas For Lowering Gas Prices:

10. Make all roads downhill.
9. Cheaper self-service price if you pump the oil and refine it yourself.
8. Gas comes from dinosaurs, so all we need are more dinosaurs.
7. Invade Iraq.
6. Give Cheney a sawed-off shotgun and have him stick up an Exxon.
5. Tax cuts for the rich.
4. Get Bush and the Middle East to straighten everything out on Oprah.
3. Jet packs for everyone.
2. Gas only costs 12 cents a gallon in Venezuela; drive to Venezuela for gas.
1. Get tubby genius Al Gore to figure it out.

(via Sierra Club blog)

A message from

All donations matched for a limited time!

Grist is the only award-winning newsroom focused on exploring equitable solutions to climate change. It’s vital reporting made entirely possible by loyal readers like you. At Grist, we don’t believe in paywalls. Instead, we rely on our readers to pitch in what they can so that we can continue bringing you our solution-based climate news.

Donate Now Not Now