cometstarmoonThis is way more civilized than the giant flamingo fuck-fest we are planning.

It’s not really an orgy, because the flamingos aren’t having sex with each other randomly — just with their mates — and no one is doing blow or drinking champagne out of anyone’s butt. But when hundreds of thousands of lesser (this is just a type, not a judgement) flamingos descend on Tanzania’s Lake Natron in a few weeks, it will perhaps be the greatest flamingo breeding event since 2007. I have no idea what happened in 2007, but since the BBC mentioned it, let’s just assume it was a big deal. 2007: Flamingos screwing in droves. 2012: About to screw even more hardcore.

Lesser flamingos are nomadic, and they are also approaching endangered status. They feed in a chain of alkaline soda lakes, but they only really nest at Lake Natron. The chemical makeup of the water verges on poisonous for some of their predators, hyenas for example, so the flamingos are able to sequester themselves on the lake’s islands without fear of being bothered. If water levels are too low, however, the predators are less deterred and there is less food, and thus less or even no breeding. That said, water levels that are too high are not good either, as they can flood nests.The lesser flamingos faced additional challenges from a planned industrial development on Lake Natron, which has luckily been put on hold.

So it seems like at this point conditions may be optimal for breeding this year, but no one knows exactly how it will play out. The only way to monitor what’s going on with the lesser flamingos is by plane, and you can’t just fly over them all day, because it costs a lot and it’s not very romantic either. Still, we will keep you posted on whether the event is like an orgy, or just more like a key party.