“Understanding food labels you might encounter at Whole Foods”:

Natural: Pretty much everything is natural, including this sentence. What makes it natural? The fact that it has the word “natural.”

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Conventional: Conventional says, “I love the system,” and we’re not even sure why you’re shopping here. You don’t want paper or plastic — you have a bag made of the skin of a clubbed infant seal.

Local: This is food grown by local farmers who dislike you because you’re living in the subdivision that used to be prime farmland owned by their grandparents.

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Read the rest — if you like laughing.